From White Lies to Bullshit
by Gala Secrets
Summary: Welcome to the insanity that is my brain. This is a collection of omakes, AUs, and cutscenes that demanded to be written but don't fit with 'No Lies Here.' Some pieces might become their own stories at some point. Rating for language.


**This is a collection of whatever insanity I write on the side for 'No Lies Here'. Everything being posted here is an AU, omake, or cutscene. At some point, some of these might become their own stories. I promised myself that this collection would be a bit more on the humor side. We'll see how long that holds up. If there's a scene or character you want to see let me know!**

**Also, I don't have a beta for any of my series but if anyone is interested, drop me a line!**

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_Omake/Cutscene (originally written for April Fools but I forgot to post it._

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"I need alcohol for this. Enough for alcohol poisoning and then some." Chané massaged her temples. "Scratch that. Enough for alcohol poisoning times two."

Her husband and his colleagues were now toddler-sized adults. With half of them having a penchant for mischief. Including her aforementioned husband, who was currently having a staring contest with Claudia and the both of them were currently grinning like the bloodthirsty maniacs they were. Well then. That would get those two out the house for a while. Given the twitch of Charon's eyebrow and the number of empty bottles nearby, he'd be following his twin and father right out the door.

An arm rested on her shoulder and she glanced over at Ennis, supposedly the only other sane person in the room based on appearance alone. Chané, however, wasn't fooled. The other woman had married Firo Prochainezo, for alchemy's sake! Ennis groaned and rested her head on Chané's shoulder.

"You'd think the levels of chaos would decrease when those two are separated," she gestured to their husbands, "but apparently we are so wrong it's not even funny. Oh fuck my life. Firo is going to try to one-up this."

Chané nodded and shot her son a pointed look. "Alcohol would probably make it better."

She noted that Reborn was staring at her daughter with hearts in his eyes while said daughter was still having a staring contest with her father. According to Claudia, they'd been getting serious and then he'd vanished for some set of jobs but promised to return. Apparently, the hitman was still head-over-heels for her most violent and bloodthirsty child. Wedding planning would be sometime in the future then.

When Ennis moaned a defeated "I give up" and pointed, Chané followed the point and saw Firo talking to the tiny blond gun-obsessed one. Maiza will be pulling his hair out after this. A glance at Berga talking with the martial-artist toddler had Chané mentally giving up. Immortal though she maybe, alcohol poisoning was still a thing.

Until she saw the green scientist in the corner messing with what looked like a bomb, Lal the military woman-toddler joining the other military toddler with Firo, the tiny Mist holding a camera, and Luce bonding with Luck Gandor while the man's two sisters-in-law attempted to spy on the duo. Attempting to, because neither Kate nor Kalia were subtle at the best of times, and definitely not when they were giggling. Of course, Keith was doing nothing to stop his wife or her conspirator in setting up his youngest brother either. And she was not getting involved in that mess. Hell to the fuck no.

In a flash, she wrangled her husband Skull and the twin menaces that she calls her children Claudia and Charon. All three yelped and she dragged them out.

"Family hit. I need to cause bloodshed and consume alcohol."

Her husband and kids grinned the same bloody manic grin, causing everyone else to stare.

Then Firo piped up.

"Huh. Guess Skull rubbed off on her after all. Normally it's him that goes for blood. Well, him and Claudia. Like father, like daughter."

Reborn's world shattered. "What."

Firo cackled, Chane dragged her insane family out the nearest window, Berga yelled out the name of some drug-running cartel, and Ennis downed a bottle of moonshine in record time even though getting drunk was literally impossible for her.


End file.
